BLACK TOP, BLACK YEARS

By Kevin Borke & Max Dropout

[audio:http://www.youbettershutupandlisten.com/mp3s/black_top_-_planet_earth.mp3]

Pulling up stakes can let up some mighty mean vampires. However, socking yearfuls into boxes the size of two months, finding pilferings that offer evidence of your mental deterioration over the last several dozen months, and running across artifacts from your lame ex that radiate that intestine boiling vibe is probably something you should force yourself to do every two years or so, even if you aren’t moving. You should remember where you’ve been, since it’ll obviously keep you from a step backward.

Grim reminders are underrated. They keep you conscious of where standing, remind you of how you got there in the first place, and they might just keep you out of a hard time somewhere down the line. The principle behind the severed head on the pike is to detour those from traveling down the path it marks… but there’s also a halo of gruesome attraction around the whole mess. Hard times have all the colorful appeal of cautionary tape. Continue reading

JUDAS PRIEST AND THE DEADLY DECEPTION

by Courtney Jerk

People see all kinds of things in everyday objects – Elvis in an especially lumpy potato, the face of Jesus in a Pizza Hut billboard, the Virgin Mary in a cloud of condensation. Seeing these images all depends on a person’s sense of perception and on their reasoning. In the case of the Jesus face in the Pizza Hut billboard, several dozen motorists reported seeing the savior’s likeness, but were they only seeing it because they were looking for it? Was God really sending a message to all these people, as one person claimed, or was it all a matter of seeing something that they thought they were supposed to see? Often, one’s faulty reasoning can have devastating circumstances. Personal perception, internal reasoning, and the subject of interpretation all came into question when two Nevada boys, James Vance (20) and Ray Belknap (18) attempted suicide in the winter of 1985. Belknap died instantly of gunshot wound, while Vance, the less fortunate of the two, lingered on in disfigurement afterward, dying some three years later due to drug complications that occurred during a surgery. Continue reading

THE STORY OF SIMPLY SAUCER

By Christina Whipsnade & Max Dropout

[audio:http://www.youbettershutupandlisten.com/mp3s/simply_saucer_-_-nazi_apocalypse.mp3]

If you measure a band’s underground credibility by exposure and the number a record’s pressing is limited to, then Hamilton’s Simply Saucer were probably six feet under the motherfucking downlow, but the fact that they were also twenty years ahead of schedule didn’t help much either. Stating that Saucer’s flavor wasn’t exactly en vogue with prevailing tastes during the early to mid 70s would be slightly unfair considering they were met with label resistance while attempting to provide the public with an official release, but their reluctance to tour didn’t exactly improve their chances of creating a clamouring demand for an LP. In fact, the scant fifty shows they did play between 74 and 79, mostly held at highschools and YMCA’s throughout Southern Canada merely contributed to the band’s ghost-like reputation. Until recently in fact, Saucer were ironically almost a cryptozoological myth, with only a few reported sightings and drunken eye witness accounts left in the wake their sporadic appearances. Continue reading